February 15, 2016

Adjustment to Working

The first month of working was fabulous!  I was so stoked to be out of the house again.  And not having homework keep me up until 3am in the morning!  It was a huge shift.  However...my school schedule allowed me to jam all my classes into 3 days.  Leaving me Monday to myself and Friday to have a free day with my hubby.  Monday's I always ran, then would eat and head into school and do work until it was time to pick up the girls.  BUT I was alone.  It was ME time.  Very important time for somebody with introvert tendancies.

My work day looks something like this:  I leave the house at 7, get home at 6, rush to get dinner on the table and then complete the bedtime routines, sometimes I sneak a run in,  the girls play with puzzles and I run.  JD has been a huge help.  He is home Wed, Thurs, and Friday evenings early enough that he picks up the girls and sometimes even throws together a dinner of sorts.  But I'm out of the house 5 days a week, and then the weekends I'm running with the girls to gymnastics and dance (on my own, JD works every weekend).  

Not helping matters my mood is severally effected with the cold dark Ontario winters.  Lucy is not adjusting to the changes as well as we would've liked. However, she has under gone a lot of changes all at once.  She's also 2 1/2 and at that very difficult, very independent stage making life a little challenging.  She has recently graduated out of the 'baby' room into the preschool room, she has potty trained, and her mommy is now out of the house everyday very early, meaning she is getting woken up very early.  So Lucy seems to be having the hardest adjustment right now.

I'm sure you can understand how the drama with my brother, the season, and now add working Mommy guilt to it and you see where I have been all week.  My mood was so low yesterday that I left work early (very early) went to the daycare and picked up Lucy before naps, took my peanut home to have a 2nd lunch with mommy, then had a nap together, and just enjoyed my baby.  I needed that!  And so did she!

This will get better.  I know it does.  It gets easier.  But I don't want to pretend that any of this is easy. It's tough.  It makes you cry.  And that's okay.  It happens to all of us.   There are times I think I'm not doing enough.  I should do this, that and the other with the girls.  But you know what?  Right now. I'm doing enough.  I'm doing what I can.  I'm doing what needs to be done to have a happy family. Because I do like working.  I like Lucy being in daycare.

Today is Family Day here in Ontario.  Today is the first time JD has had the day off to be with us all. This year this day was needed for us more than ever.  Today we will be lazy in the morning (I'll run), and this afternoon we are taking the girls skating.  I'll make a big dinner tonight.  We'll prep sides for lunches.  We will bask in our day together as a family.  And next week I will go in to work recharged.

Much Love!
ks

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